CHATTING to the balding mid 60s man on the ‘Silver Singles’ dating website, Moe Lenart felt her stomach flip.
It was late 2021 and she was pleased she’d found a match online – her first since her husband of 14 years, Philip Malcom, had died after falling down stairs earlier that year.
“It had been a really tough time for me,” says retired legal worker Moe, 70, from Edison, New Jersey, USA. “Philip was my second husband – my first, Dennie, died of heart disease aged 48 after 28 years together.
“In 2012 my daughter Cori also died. She was just 32 and it was from heart problems she’d had since she was a child.
“I had suffered the heartbreak of three losses and was lonely and wanted someone to talk to.”
Shortly after logging onto the website, Moe struck up a conversation with a man who called himself Joel Christopher Junior, although that is now known to be a pseudonym.
“He approached me and it was my first match,” she says. “He was handsome in his pictures but it wasn’t about that.
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“I said to him, ‘I just want you as a friend – I just want someone to talk to’, and he agreed.”
Over the course of the next few days ‘Joel’ told Moe how he was also from the USA, but involved in the diamond mining industry and therefore had to regularly travel abroad.
“He would talk about it in such a way that it seemed really believable,” she says.
Over the course of two Moe and ‘Joel’ started chatting more and more on a daily basis – initially online but then via telegram.
“He was really good at talking to people – a charmer,” she said. “He sang to me while I cried and made me feel so comfortable.
“I suggested we meet in person but he kept putting it off. “He explained his travels were preventing it.
“But despite that I fell for him. It sounds ridiculous. I worked in the legal sector for 46 years and am an intelligent woman but he played on my grief.”
The pair began discussing their future together.
It sounds ridiculous. I worked in the legal sector for 46 years and am an intelligent woman but he played on my grief.
Moe Lenart
“We were going to buy a home in Miami, Florida, and he sent me a teddy bear which I called Joel Junior,” she says. “He sent me flowers and a watch.
“He called me Moe Christopher.
“We ended every conversation with ‘mwah, mwah – I love you more, simply because’.”
Despite her blossoming relationship with him, Moe didn’t tell any of her friends about it, being a very private person.
What are romance scams?
Romance scams are used to trick someone into sending their hard-earned money to a criminal.
Fraudsters will go to great lengths on dating apps and social media, typically through fake or ‘catfish’ profiles, to win their victims’ trust and convince them that they are in a real relationship.
New research from Santander has found almost a third of Brits have been targeted by a romance scammer.
UK Finance data shows that the cruel scams increased last year, with £31.3 million worth of romance fraud reported in 2022, up from £30.9 million in 2021 and £17.8 million in 2020.
Clearly, there’s something in a scammer’s choice of words, as a scary 83 per cent of people who fell victim to a romance scam said it was because of the clever language used by the criminals.
Other factors include the way they were spoken to and the intimate conversations they had with the scammer.
She wasn’t unduly concerned when ‘Joel’ asked her to wire him money because he’d travelled to Russia for work and had his credit card ‘locked’.
“He said it was because he had failed to tell his bank he was going abroad.
But then he started claiming he was being held captive in a warzone and needed a payoff to return to the USA via smuggling.
Despite the elaborate story she ended up sending him an astonishing £321k over a course of eight months including £68k in cryptocurrency.
We ended every conversation with ‘mwah, mwah – I love you more, simply because’.
Moe Lenart
Then – just after she told him she was broke – he vanished.
At first Moe didn’t tell anyone, before eventually confessing to her friend Amy.
“She was astonished when I told her,” she says. “Then when she asked just how much I had spent her jaw dropped… she was horrified.
“I realise now I shouldn’t have believed it but I think I was just lonely.”
I had money after Philip’s tragic death and now I’m eating the bare minimum, scraping by and cannot afford prescriptions
Moe Lenart
Moe subsequently approached the relevant authorities and has learnt ‘Joel’ is actually an innocent Argentian man whose picture is used by scammers to lure in unsuspecting women.
She doesn’t know who the true scammer is – and suspects she never will.
“I’m on social security now,” she says. “I had money after Philip’s tragic death and now I’m eating the bare minimum, scraping by and cannot afford prescriptions.
“At first I considered myself a victim but now I don’t.
How to spot a romance scam?
- Is this a real person? Be suspicious if they say they can’t meet in person. Your online love interest will likely claim to live abroad, travel a lot, be in the armed forces or work for an international organisation.
- Incomplete profile Scammers use fake personal data to create accounts, and their profile info is usually incomplete. If you search their name online, you’ll likely be left empty handed.
- Sketchy information Fraudsters can slip up by contradicting themselves or telling you outlandish things. Messages are often poorly written or confusing.
- Spectacular photos Scammers will often steal pictures from another profile or create ones using AI. Be wary of photos from someone you don’t know, especially if they look too touched up or like they were taken by a professional.
- They ask for money or account details Criminals will likely ask you to send them money, personal details or bank account passwords. You should never give a stranger personal information or send money
“I need to speak up so other women don’t make the same mistake I did.
“He said it was love – he was taking me for a fool the entire time.”
If you’re worried you’re a victim of romance fraud visit https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/fraud/romance-fraud
Donate to Moe’s GoFundMe to help recoup some of her losses here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/37i4kryirc
